Purnima Kothari won’t celebrate Deepavali well this year. She hadn’t celebrated it since 1990, when her brothers Ram and Sharad Kothari sacrificed their lives for the Ram mandir in Ayodhya. We caught up with her. She kindly agreed to share her views with us, even though memories of her siblings made her choke with tears while talking.

It has been 34 years, but it is evident that time hasn’t fully healed her wounds.

We asked her if she would do something unique this Deepavali.

It will be nothing special. I haven’t been celebrating Deepavali since the 90s. This year, it will be a simple affair, too. I will be very much at home, and my daughter will celebrate with her friends in the neighbourhood.

However, she did celebrate Deepavali this year on January 22 when Prabhu Ram finally came to his janmasthaan in Ayodhya. 

“You won’t believe it, but it was after 35 years that I celebrated with crackers and diyaas. My daughter and I lit lamps in Ayodhya as if it were Deepavali. I can never forget that day.”

The last time Purnima Kothari joyfully celebrated the festival was in October 34 years ago with her two brothers and parents. She is the only person alive who remembers that day. 

Shortly after the Deepavali in 1990, Purnima’s brothers left to do Karseva in Ayodhya and promised to return before her wedding, planned for December. Purnima, then a shy and introverted 19-year-old woman, wanted to go with them, but they didn’t let her. Her doting brothers firmly told her she had to stay back and care for their parents.

It wasn’t easy for the Kothari brothers to reach Ayodhya for the karseva then. Their path was fraught with obstacles. Under the orders of then Chief Minister Mulayam Singh Yadav, the Uttar Pradesh government had cancelled all train and bus services, erected barricades, and imposed a strict curfew. 

The karsevaks took many strenuous routes through jungles and rivers to reach Ayodhya. On October 30, 1990, after a sadhu commandeered a police vehicle filled with detained karsevaks and drove through the barricades to reach the Ram Janmabhoomi site, Sharad Kothari quickly climbed the domes, hoisted the saffron flag and reclaimed it as a place of Hindu worship.

Security forces opened fire on the Hindu demonstrators, leading to the tragic deaths of many people. Ram and Sharad, aged 22 and 20, took shelter in a house. 

The next day, a sabha (gathering) was convened to brief the karsevaks on the plan for November 2, which also marked the auspicious day of Kartik Purnima. The karsevaks devised a strategy for a peaceful yet potent expression of their devotion and defiance. They were to chant ‘Ram naam’ and march towards the Janmabhoomi. If police stopped them, they should sit down on the spot and sing Ram bhajans.

On November 2 afternoon, while hiding in a house, Sharad heard a gentle knock on the door asking for water. He assumed it was a karsevak needing help. 

When Sharad opened the door, he discovered it was the police who dragged him outside, shot him in the chest and tried to pull away his body. When his elder brother Ram came running to the scene, he was shot in the head from point-blank range. Both brothers died on the spot.

Purnima’s world changed overnight. When she heard the news, she knew her life had changed forever. 

She called off her wedding and wanted to join the same cause as her brothers. Her parents supported this wish and cancelled the wedding. Till Babri was demolished in 1992, they participated in every karseva in Ayodhya. She married many years after a temporary temple for Ram Lalla came up at the Janmsthaan.

Her parents never regretted letting their young, unmarried sons go for karseva on that fateful day. They remained fiercely proud till their last days that their sons sacrificed their lives for Prabhu Shree Ram.

“My world changed overnight. I still can’t believe how things suddenly changed my life forever.  It was my parents, and my Sankalp that we would always participate in any karseva at Ram Mandir. Till Babri fell, my father went to every event there. Even if there were a rumour or light talk about something at Janmasthaan, he would get ready to show up there with the family.”

It isn’t easy for her to talk about those memories. She chokes in tears while talking about her family. She says she and her parents had given up any hope that a grand Ram Mandir would come at the janmsthaan in their lifetimes.

“I never thought I would be able to see Prabhu Ram at his janmsthaan in Ayodhya in my lifetime. The way things were before 2014, we had given up all hope. My parents died yearning for the Ram Mandir. They held on to the dream but died without seeing it come true. We even started doubting if my brothers’ sacrifice went in vain. 

But my illusions were thankfully shattered this January. It happened right before my own eyes in my lifetime. I can’t even begin to describe my feelings during Pran Prathishtha. It was a big deal for me. I was among the 7000 people invited to the event. Everybody was crying when Ram Lalla appeared, including the cameramen. I am an ordinary person, but the people sitting next to me were the creme of the society. They were also getting emotional. “

Purnima Kothari speaks about January 22 as if it were yesterday, and her voice lights up.

There was something divine in the air. The second I stepped on the sacred soil, I could feel Amrit Varsha on me. I am very fortunate that I was able to witness that grand ceremony in my lifetime. I still don’t have words to describe what I saw that day. Ayodhya was different that day. It was as if I was in dev lok.

Purnima Kothari, however, did not go there just as an attendee. She did sewa there for 15 days with her daughter under the banner of ‘Ram Sharad Kothari Smriti Sangh’ to provide tea and snacks to the devotees and the police personnel deployed nearby. This sewa shivir is a part of The Ram Sharad Kothari Smriti Sangh in Kolkata, which she founded in memory of her brothers. This organisation has about 80 members who joined her in this sewa shivir in Ayodhya.

Did she ever feel that the larger Hindu community outside Ayodhya and Uttar Pradesh has not recognised the sacrifices of her brothers?

Purnima says she always had the support of the wider Hindu community. “People used to invite us and honour us across the country after my brothers died. We have visited Kerala, Karnataka, Uttar Pradesh, Rajasthan, Maharashtra, and many other states for tribute ceremonies. So many people have prayed for our family.”

We ask her about her recent foray into social media. Purnima Kothari has an X and Instagram account operated mainly by her daughter, Yashaswini.

“Only when I came on X did I realise how many people were still talking about my brothers. Many saw my presence on social media and insisted that families of Ram Mandir heroes should also be invited to the Pran Pratishtha ceremony.”

Purnima Kothari is grateful to Prime Minister Narendra Modi and Uttar Pradesh Chief Minister Yogi Adityanath for making the Ram Mandir a reality without violence and setbacks.

“I am so happy that Modi ji and Yogi ji paved the way for the Ram Mandir. I respect him so much that I am willing to wash his feet. It is one thing to see the temple getting made finally. It is another thing to make it happen without violence, within time, and without street riots. People don’t realize what a huge deal it is. 

If he managed the affairs in the centre, Yogi Ji handled the situation in the state. Many people are not aware of his involvement in the Ram Mandir movement. He has played an important role, too. And look how well he is managing Uttar Pradesh. Thanks to them, I have seen my biggest life dream come true before my own eyes. Even my family and I gave up on seeing Ram Mandir, but they didn’t give up.”

How does she feel when some political parties in southern states question the existence of Lord Rama and abuse him for vote bank appeasement?

“I don’t understand how people can prioritise politics over their deities. What kind of politics is this, and how can these people say vile things about their deity? No other place can claim the kind of connection that Southern India has with Prabhu Shree Ram. Look at Ram Setu, Rameshwaram, and so many places where Ramayan happened. Prabhu prayed in Rameshwaram to defeat Raavan, yet some politicians say that Lord Ram is the only god of north Indians.” 

But we live in such times that those in our fold betray us most. Hindus are pulling down other Hindus. Some Hindus should be ashamed to talk poorly about their Aaradhya to stay in power. I have seen such statements from much earlier. The Congress party used to say such things about Lord Ram, and now other parties are copying them. There is nothing new in this kind of politics. 

Even though Purnima Kothari has sacrificed a lot to see the Ram Mandir in Ayodhya, she is quite proud of passing on to her daughter the same devotion that her parents and brothers had. 

“My daughter Yashaswini was and continues to be deeply involved in many events in Ayodhya, including the sewa shivir we held there. She takes care of my commitments, helps me manage my interviews, and is excited to participate in every event, even the bhoomi poojan. She proudly told her friends that she was going to the Pran Pratishtha ceremony, and they were delighted for her, too. I am proud of her commitment to the Ram Mandir cause.”

(Subscribe to our Telegram, WhatsApp, and Instagram channels and get the best stories of the day delivered instantly.)